Fact: Miss Piggy should be the Raw General Manager

As we know, the WWE chain of command is scarily convoluted. By which I mean “makes no sense whatsoever”. RAW is all over the place, and Johnny Ace has forgotten how to deliver a line without flubbing, if indeed he ever knew.

So to save WWE’s flagship show, it is time to appoint someone with gravitas, someone who commands respect and affection, and who isn’t afraid to karate-chop Hornswoggle in the balls. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to appoint Miss Piggy.

With the aid of Microsoft Paint, I have put together this handy little diagram which illustrates the current flow of responsibility on RAW and Smackdown as far as I can work it out:

This is frankly a ridiculous state of affairs. Miss Piggy would put up with none of this nonsense. She wouldn’t constantly be texting on her phone, like Johnny Ace. She doesn’t stand for any of that sexual harassment nonsense, as she showed when that dirty little goblin tried to molest her. And she would put Kelly blinkin’ Kelly firmly in her place given the opportunity. This is something that RAW desperately needs.

Muppets = ratings. This must happen.


3 Responses to Fact: Miss Piggy should be the Raw General Manager

  1. workmancer says:

    Miss Piggy = Viki. Wasn’t Miss Piggy already the anonymous GM?

    The Change CM Punk should want is no GM, no CEO, no COO. Do the producers of 2 and a Half Men come on the show trying to derail it? The GM is a good foil for explaining things like 2 on 1 matches. They should go back to TNA’s “powers that be” that ran the company before Dixie.

    Having a power struggle ontop isn’t wrestling and it isn’t a match.

  2. […] 3. Jinder Mahal attacking his putative opponent Johnny Curtis en route to the ring (which is fair enough, I would too), and then Mick Foley turning up and telling him that instead he would have to face Tyson Kidd. So you can add Foley to the list of people who can now make matches for the WWE. […]

  3. […] the fact that the Knockouts division chain of command seems to be just as convoluted and nonsensical as WWE Raw’s – Karen Jarrett reigns supreme, and holds power of hiring and firing, even though Sting and […]

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