As we know, the WWE chain of command is scarily convoluted. By which I mean “makes no sense whatsoever”. RAW is all over the place, and Johnny Ace has forgotten how to deliver a line without flubbing, if indeed he ever knew.
So to save WWE’s flagship show, it is time to appoint someone with gravitas, someone who commands respect and affection, and who isn’t afraid to karate-chop Hornswoggle in the balls. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to appoint Miss Piggy.
With the aid of Microsoft Paint, I have put together this handy little diagram which illustrates the current flow of responsibility on RAW and Smackdown as far as I can work it out:
This is frankly a ridiculous state of affairs. Miss Piggy would put up with none of this nonsense. She wouldn’t constantly be texting on her phone, like Johnny Ace. She doesn’t stand for any of that sexual harassment nonsense, as she showed when that dirty little goblin tried to molest her. And she would put Kelly blinkin’ Kelly firmly in her place given the opportunity. This is something that RAW desperately needs.
Muppets = ratings. This must happen.