Some notes from last night’s event:
1) The LG Arena stewards are over-officious and illogical. We had arrived with four signs, namely:
REGAL OR RIOT!
I HEART THE BARRETT UPRISING
NO SHAVE UNTIL MANIA
THE BEARD TO BE FEARED (SOONER OR LATER, EVERYBODY TAPS!)
All fine works of aesthetic and literary art inscribed on A2 paper with black and red jumbo marker pens, I’m sure you’ll agree.
On arrival at the arena, we had them confiscated. If they had objected to the word “riot” or the innuendo of my Barrett poster, I’d have been irritated, but I would have at least seen the reasoning. But no. They were just too big.
Having handed them over, we went to queue to get into the arena itself, and the more I thought about it, the angrier I was. So I went back over to the door, and asked the steward if I could have my signs back if I cut them in half.
And yes, apparently that was fine. I was allowed my signs that said REGAL/OR RIOT!, I HEART THE/BARRETT UPRISING, NO SHAVE/UNTIL MANIA, and THE BEARD/TO BE FEARED (SOONER OR LATER, EVERYBODY TAPS). They were the same signs, taking up the same space when I held them up – just in two pieces now.
Look, here I am –
Still, at least I wasn’t as badly off as the child who had his replica belt confiscated, or the one who had her Randy Orton collage taken away from her. Seriously, LG Arena, poor show.
2. On the other hand, the in-ring work was an excellent show. William Regal v Daniel Bryan I’ve already told you about, but we also had…
3. Jinder Mahal attacking his putative opponent Johnny Curtis en route to the ring (which is fair enough, I would too), and then Mick Foley turning up and telling him that instead he would have to face Tyson Kidd. So you can add Foley to the list of people who can now make matches for the WWE.
3a. Obviously, that meant Tyson Kidd was playing face, and to look the part he was wearing new pink-and-black Hart Foundation ring gear.
4. Tamina kicked AJ around the ring but still lost.
5. Sheamus v Christian – neither of whom I expected to be there, if I’m honest – wrapped up the first half. Christian’s Canadian accent seemed much more pronounced as he berated the crowd for their poor teeth (get some new material, guys), and then he pranced around the ramp and the ring playing the cowardly heel to perfection.
6. Eden Stiles, bless her heart, was the ring announcer. Eden, love, just a tip – if you have to keep pulling your skirt down so that it doesn’t expose your underwear, it’s probably too short.
7. The kids went wild when Sin Cara’s entrance music hit. There were hundreds of the little blighters, one actually dressed in full Sin Cara ring gear (although he then took his mask off, which ruined the mystery. Fail, mini-luchador. Fail), and most of whom had done their own drawings of their hero. He trampolined into the ring, with fireworks, without botches, then went round to hug his fans and collect their pictures and signs.
Of course, when he returned to the ring, he tore up those little labours of love, and revealed himself to be Hunico, aka Sin Cara Negra, aka the Sin Cara who doesn’t botch (so much). He crushed poor Yoshi Tatsu and bragged that he’d put the real Sin Cara in hospital. Amazing.
8. What a strange tag match we were given – Cody Rhodes (without baggers – shame, and without the mask that was broken on Friday night’s Smackdown TV show) and Wade Barrett (without his coat – shame) versus Ted DiBiase and Randy bloody Orton, someone else we were not expecting to see bearing in mind the RAW supershow was happening at the same time. Obviously SuperOrton prevailed, RKOing Barrett much to the delight of the arena (apart from half a dozen of us who were sitting there smarking about how we don’t understand Orton’s appeal and that the RKO is a rubbish finisher).
9. The main event, as we knew, was the Big Show v Mark Henry for the World Heavyweight Championship. I’m not a fan of either, if I’m honest, and certainly did not want to watch them face each other, but if you overlook the fact that it was the slowest-worked match I have ever seen and children’s inexplicable love for Show (is it just that he’s a giant? Is that it?), it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. And that’s the best you’re going to hear me say about it.
10. If you’re going to one of the WWE shows in the UK, please note that William Regal’s Made in England shirt is available at the concession stand. If you’re going to buy ugly-looking official WWE merchandise, make it something worthwhile rather than those dreadful new Cena shirts. Thanks!
And if you’ve been to any of the WWE shows this month, do let me know what you thought of it in the comments.