It’s 3.30 here in the UK, and Kharma has returned to the WWE in the Royal Rumble, making her the third woman to compete in the event.
She busted Dolph Ziggler’s implants, and eliminated Hunico, and made Michael Cole cry like a scared child.
I don’t know when she had her baby, but guessing that she was three months’ pregnant at the end of May when she stepped back from competition, I’m estimating that it must have been in November at the very earliest.
This makes her more incredible than she is already. In your face, all you stupid internet marks who don’t think women wrestlers should be allowed to have a job AND children.
Kharma is back. And she is ready to squash some bitches. Including Michael Cole. Hooray!
So tonight I was invited along to the Impact Wrestling TV tapings at Wembley Arena. Obviously the two shows I saw being filmed won’t air for a couple of weeks yet, so this report is slightly spoilery, but I’ll try not to give too much away.
Without further ado, some facts about the shows:
1. TNA are returning to the UK next year, and doing shows at the same venues (Manchester, Nottingham, London) plus Glasgow Braehead. Read the rest of this entry »
Seriously. Spoiler alert and all that if you’re not in the UK, but tonight on Smackdown Natalya jobs in two seconds to Aksana.
On her Smackdown debut.
In her ridiculous lace gear and with her ridiculous pornographic sax ring music.
This followed a segment in which she apparently broke wind, much to the disgust of Teddy Long, his courtesan, and Santino Marella.
When was the last time Nattie won? What happened to the Divas of Destruction? Why is she being wasted in this way while lesser Diva talents (ALICIA FOX I’M LOOKING AT YOU) are being put over with reckless abandon? Who has she annoyed and how?
I don’t mean that in the existential sense, or in the “he hears voices in his head” confused sense. I mean that in the arrogant, self-centred, egotistical sense.
The only justifiable explanation I can think of for his comments in the most recent WWE magazine would be that it was in character. Yes, one of the company’s top faces is a mostly silent guy who acts like a heel and still gets cheered, so that might be a reason for saying:
“There’s not many guys in the locker room right now that I haven’t worked with or that I feel I can have that big WrestleMania match with. Who have I not worked with that’s anybody? Up-and-comers are being groomed to be the next top star, but will they ever get to where I’ve got?”
I feel a bit daft even asking the question, because the answer is surely a foregone conclusion.
But that wily old rogue William Regal has jumped back on his hobby-horse – he still wants to be the first English WWE champion, and he wants his old pupil Daniel Bryan to give him a title match.
I particularly love this tweet from Regal: “One thing though,I don’t deserve a title shot, but I want one.” Fantastic. I’m so bored with challengers in WWE (and TNA, come to that) demanding the matches they reckon they “deserve” – being honest about wanting something is truly good to hear.
One can only hope that Regal’s dancing prowess on last week’s Smackdown is a first step towards getting him back on the main shows. After all, Bryan can’t continue to feud with the two monsters indefinitely, a) because it’s dull and b) because they’re both broken.
So – do you want to see this Bryan/Regal championship match?
OK, so I understood (and in fact positively welcomed) the presence of Hugh Jackman and the Muppets, who had movies to shill when they were guests on Monday Night RAW.
But why Perez Hilton? (Certainly it is a question of our times.)
He wasn’t a guest throughout the show. He just announced the Divas match – the lowest-prestige match he could have been asked to announce, of course – and that was it.
Actually, no, that wasn’t it. He was booed roundly and vociferously by the crowd, and even his attempt at self-deprecation didn’t win them round.
It all ties into the Divas being guest bloggers on Hilton’s latest media enterprise, all about health and fitness. Seriously. Why is this happening?
Is Vince hoping for a rise in viewing figures stemming from Hilton’s readership? If so, I’d suggest he cuts out the sexism and the homophobia (which we saw yet again last night as Punk took the traditional Jerry Lawler role of mocking Vickie Guerrero and her appearance) as I don’t imagine that’ll be too popular.
And while we’re at it, not entirely sure how Hilton’s bitchiness fits in with the Show Tolerance and Respect thing. But then again I’m not entirely sure how WWE’s product itself does, so perhaps that’s not as odd.
It seems that Jamie Noble has slunk out of retirement on this most recent round of house shows, wrestling WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan in Yakima, Washington, over the weekend.
There are various reports about the match online, but so far the only clip I can find is this one, with Bryan’s promo, and small excerpts from the match. David Otunga’s theme plays from 3.40 onwards – he’s the minion who announces Noble as Bryan’s opponent, not the opponent himself.
The match ran over ten minutes, apparently, so I’ll keep checking and feed back if I find anything more enlightening.