Question: Zack Ryder, Eve and John Cena – where on earth is John Cena’s wife?

John Cena has a wife in WWE canon. I KNOW he does, because CM Punk told me so.

Now obviously offending her honour isn’t as bad as likening Cena to the New York Yankees. But she does exist.

So where is she now?

She wasn’t mentioned on Monday when Cena had his tongue down Eve’s throat.

Zack Ryder didn’t mention her or threaten to phone her to tell her about her husband’s misdeeds.

Cena’s “I’m so sorry!” shtick only extended as far as his broski, not his spouse.

So I can only conclude that she no longer exists.

Where has she gone?

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4 Responses to Question: Zack Ryder, Eve and John Cena – where on earth is John Cena’s wife?

  1. SnafuAl says:

    She ran away with the Anonymous Raw GM and is filing for divorce. Unfortunately, the court system in Continuity Purgatory is bogged down in paperwork and red tape, so it’s taking a while to go through.

  2. asukasboy says:

    Answer: She’s Randy Orton’s wife now. Eventually everyone will become one of Randy Orton’s many TV wives, sucked into a kind of matrimonial vortex of baby oil, generic tribal tattoos and drawn… out…
    sentences.

    When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Legacy. Cowboy Bob Orton. Gary Strydom. Gary Spivey (Of the Psychic… Companion’s Network!”) That “He Hate Me” guy from the XFL. Me. You. It’s an inevitability.

  3. […] Eve is now deemed a slut (with some kind of STD, apparently) because she, completely single, kissed a man (who does have a wife, but everyone has forgotten about her). […]

  4. […] the slut-shaming of Eve (the only clever thing about Rock’s concert was the verse about Cena’s wife), the humiliation of Natalya, and the ignoring of Beth Phoenix, the Divas champion, who’s […]

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