As the WWE approach their end-of-year Slammys (see image, credit: WWE), which are always a srs awards ceremony and not at all a farcical joke that detracts more than ever from their wrestling, I thought it was about time we did an awards ceremony here on TOWIS with equal gravitas, to recognise our favourite performers in 2013.
Do feel free to invent your own categories and award-winners in the comments…
Without further ado:
Best backwoods yokel cult member
Luke Harper. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Best Sin Cara
Best unlikely trio of heels beloved of ladysmarks
The Shield. For the second year running. Obv.
Best WWE champion
Daniel Bryan. Obv.
Worst fiancée ever
Brie Bella. Girl, your boyfriend gets abducted by cultist hillbillies and you just witter on at some TV presenter about your shared birthday? Sort yourself out.
Member of the Authority I would most like to go away immediately and forthwith
A hard-contested category, but Triple H wins out.
Sami Zayn. No, Renee Young. No, Sami Zayn. No, Renee Young. Um – call it a draw?
Best thing invented by Bruce Hart according to his autobiography
The Hart Foundation.
Best major sporting victory coinciding with a UK indy show
Andy Murray winning Wimbledon just prior to FPW’s main event. I leapt around in the corner, listening to the tennis commentary via my iPad while watching the wrestling in the ring. An odd experience.