TNA British Boot Camp 2, episode 7: or the one with Bagpuss

Previously on British Boot Camp! This, this, this, this, this and most recently this!

Tonight there is some wrestling, beginning with a tag match between the contestants, which will then cut the field down to three. Da-da-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Samoa Joe welcomes the six to North Carolina, and explains once more that there will be a multi-person tag match You may recall that Dixie had previously said this would be a six-man tag. Gail Kim steps in at this point to change the stipulation, because of course girls can’t wrestle boys as that would mean the world was ending. Thus the match is going to involve Angelina Love as well – plus Al Snow to ensure that the numbers are even. Marvellous. Grado is looking forward to being on his team already.

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Joe then reminds them that three of them will be cut from the competition after the match, because apparently he is Exposition Man. Gail says she’s interested to see the match. Well, that’s good, dude, because you’re a judge.

Quick recap of everything that’s happened in the past weeks with Grado, just in case you’d had chance to forget about any of it, then there’s a switch backstage and the bloody Hardyz have turned up for a pep talk. Grado hugs Matt, who seems quite happy. Jeff is less pleased.

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You have to laugh that the Hardyz of all people are telling six exemplary pros to be motivated and work hard.

Time for the match then. Heels – Mastiff, Rampage, Dar and Love (who’s wearing a skirt but frankly might as well not bother); faces – (a shirtless) Snow, Grado (who’s dancing to music that doesn’t appear to be playing), Andrews and Ray. Obviously the match begins by being entirely overshadowed by utter morons chanting, “We want head!” (if you’ve ever shouted that at a show, please stop reading and never again darken my door). Dar and Andrews lock up first – the Welshman’s tights remind me of Zap lollies, remember them? Kay Lee is doing great work getting the crowd involved. Snow steps in to take on Rampage, and I’m hypnotised by his MC Hammer-style trousers. Why is he happy to show off his torso but not his legs? WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS LEGS? WE MUST KNOW.

The girls get their go, and Angelina Love seems to be wearing Bagpuss on her legs. Seriously, TNA talent. Sort out your legwear.

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Grado tags in, and proceeds to dance with Earl Hebner. Love makes a quick exit. Towards the end we get to see Andrews taking on Rampage for a bit before Dar attacks him from the back. And of course, you can’t have girl wrestlers involved in a match without having one of them propositioned – Grado waves his crotch at Angelina, Ray kicks her from the top rope and proceeds to dive through the ropes to the outside. No idea who’s legal at this point, but Rampage pins Andrews after a sit-down powerbomb, so presumably him.

So who are they keeping and who’s going home?

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Al says nice things to everyone but is quick to add on the proviso, “It’s not totally up to us.” Good to have a competition with such firm and fixed rules, isn’t it? Lots of compliments dished out all round, but Dar (“gutted”), Mastiff and Grado are eliminated.

Grado informs Al, “You’ve been a dick.” Al is immediately back on to the “respect” rollercoaster, and Grado challenges him to a match at the Glasgow Hydro during the TNA tour.

“See you there!” beams Snow.

So we have a final three of Kay Lee Ray, Mark Andrews and Rampage Brown.

Next time! Who will be the winner? Rampage takes on Bram, Kay Lee takes on Gail Kim, and Mandrews faces Zema Ion!

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