Facts from Friday Night Smackdown, Manchester Arena, Tuesday 12th November 2013

November 13, 2013

As always, a brief round-up of my reaction to the episode of Smackdown that’ll air this Friday, and which we saw filmed last night. Spoilers abound. (We also saw Main Event matches but I don’t care about that because if it’s not on Sky Sports, it doesn’t really exist.) Read the rest of this entry »


Fact: kayfabe is alive and well in the WWE Universe

June 28, 2013

Curt Hawkins posted a photo yesterday of the wedding gift he’d had made for Natalya and Tyson Kidd (who, it seems, got married properly in a low-key way, and then in a WWE way, to be featured on Total Divas, which looks like it may be the worst TV programme ever made).

I was delighted to note that, among the congratulations, there were adorably naive comments from fans who were bewildered as to why Natalya was marrying Kidd when she was going out with the Great Khali.

No, seriously.

tyson and nattie

 

Read the rest of this entry »


Question: What the hell has Natalya done, and who has she annoyed?

January 27, 2012

Seriously. Spoiler alert and all that if you’re not in the UK, but tonight on Smackdown Natalya jobs in two seconds to Aksana.

AKSANA.

On her Smackdown debut.

In her ridiculous lace gear and with her ridiculous pornographic sax ring music.

This followed a segment in which she apparently broke wind, much to the disgust of Teddy Long, his courtesan, and Santino Marella.

When was the last time Nattie won? What happened to the Divas of Destruction? Why is she being wasted in this way while lesser Diva talents (ALICIA FOX I’M LOOKING AT YOU) are being put over with reckless abandon? Who has she annoyed and how?

Please tell me, because I’m damned if I know.


Wishes for 2012: a truly Divalicious Divas’ division

December 31, 2011

I am wishing for Beth Phoenix and Natalya to stop jobbing to useless bimbos like Alicia Fox, and when Kharma returns I want the Divas division begins to include more wrestling and less U R JUS JELUS storylines.

Admittedly, this is probably the least likely scenario of all those on my wish-list so far: in a world where the Hart Dynasty are jobbing to Eve and Zack Ryder, there’s unlikely to be any prominence given to actual wrestling skills. Still, the New Year is the appropriate time to look forward with unbridled optimism, and so I include this as one of my 2012 wishes with the genuine hope that one day it’ll be granted.


Fact: Beth Phoenix isn’t really a Diva of Destruction

October 11, 2011

Oh, she was. Once upon a time.

Yeah, she used to be a top amateur wrestler, and once graced Shimmer (where they have proper female wrestlers, in case you’re interested).

Yeah, she used to compete against men as a matter of course.

Yeah, even in WWE they’ve put her up against men, and she was the second woman ever to take part in the Royal Rumble. And yeah, whatever, she eliminated the Great Khali and his glass knees.

But let’s face it, she and Nattie can pretend all they want that they’re going to crush everyone in their path.

At the end of the day, they’re GIRLS.

(Fast-forward through to 06.44)

And girls are small and fragile and vulnerable and need to be protected in case of accidents that might impact on them, particularly from a fauxhawk-wearing man with a superiority complex and a delusionary man who is scared of both heights and spiders.

There is simply no way that a poor defenceless girl such as Beth Phoenix (who’s 30, 5 foot 7 and has a billed weight of 150lb, and who I’d probably describe as a “woman”, but clearly I am wrong) can be expected to function in a workplace where such dangers lurk.

Beth, you’ve let us all down.


Exclusive: Mickie James – ‘I can walk away with a smile on my face!’

October 9, 2011

Mickie James has to be one of the hardest-working women in pro wrestling. Not only is she on the road with TNA – “for 200 days out of the past year,” she sighs – but she’s also working on her new album. It’s a cliché, but how does she balance two demanding and creative careers?

“Wrestling, for me, I feel I know it well enough that I can get in there, do my dance and do it rather well; but I’m tapping into adrenalin-based emotion,” she says. “Music is more like the heart and soul. I try to write songs that aren’t what everyone’s said a million times, and that takes you back to a place in your life that you can relate to. It’s fun, because it goes off in a different creative pattern. Being on the road so much, I have a lot of road stories that I can play with!”

But something has to give, surely? “I think sleep is the one thing I give up. And my sanity!” she laughs. Read the rest of this entry »