Fact 1: Daniel Bryan is a man. Fact 2: He has a beard.

October 31, 2011

Daniel Bryan is going through one of his intermittent phases when he’s interested in maintaining his social media presence. So after his official WWE website interview last week where he reiterated that he’s cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase at Wrestlemania and until such time he will not be ridding himself of that beard, he’s been back on Twitter to garner support for his so-called beard strike.

“There is too much MANSCAPING going on in this country…I’m a MAN. I’ve got a BEARD,” he declared. And more to the point, he has urged his fans to join him.

In case you are interested in joining his beard strike, here are some guiding principles, all learned from Bryan’s Twitter stream this week: Read the rest of this entry »

Latest: Maryse leaves WWE

October 28, 2011

As you may have heard, Maryse Ouellet has been released from her WWE contract and wished all the best in her future endeavours.

From the wording of her most recent tweet, it sounds like she asked to leave. And you can’t blame her.

I put her desire to leave WWE solely down to the utter tediousness of NXT. She trotted out obediently, week after week, claiming the rag-tag band of no-hopers on show as her very own rookies (imagine the shame!).

Then Matt Striker, incompetent that he is, gradually started to usurp her presenting time, as she moved into a mostly decorative role in an increasingly awful array of outfits, and stupid love storylines with Yoshi blinkin’ Tatsu and freakin’ Hornswoggle.

She’s been off after an operation over the summer, but knowing you’ve got to go back to NXT can’t hasten your recovery time.

So in conclusion, if NXT didn’t suck so very hard, Maryse would still be a Diva. I believe this to be fact.

Question: will the Rock accept John Cena’s invitation to team up at Survivor Series?

October 28, 2011

This is the question that WWE are seriously posing to us on tonight’s Smackdown. So I thought I’d take a vote and see what TOWIS readers think.

A CM Punk birthday special: darts player Paul Nicholson’s walk-on tribute

October 26, 2011

It’s the great man’s birthday today, and so in his honour I’ve watched Money in the Bank on a loop.

But obviously you’ve already seen that, so here’s something you might not have seen – darts player Paul Nicholson, who likes to think of himself as the Punk of his sport, decided to emulate his walk-on. It confused the hell out of probably 97 per cent of the people watching, but for those of us who understood, it was amazing.

Fact: Antonio Cesaro is Very European

October 26, 2011

I’m a sucker for a good Twitter feud – CM Punk’s recurring spats with Stone Cold Steve Austin are a thing of great joy to me.

And it’s a good general rule of thumb that if William Regal is pushing you, you’re destined for the big time.

So hoorah and huzzah, then, for FCW’s new recruit Antonio Cesaro aka Claudio Castagnoli, who’s forcefully reiterating his case as to why Switzerland is the best country in the world. So far, his arguments include, “We were the most feared mercenaries in the 1700s and to this day protect the pope,” and if that’s not a good enough reason for you to join Twitter JUST to follow his feed, I’m not sure what would be.

Regal, of course, is giving as good as he gets (insulting Swiss chocolate, and calling Cesaro “cheesy” at every available opportunity) – the FCW and NXT co-commentator is giving Cesaro his seal of approval, via Twitter and on the mic, and it’s not surprising, really.

If you’re not familiar with his work in his previous life, let’s take a look at the portfolio of the artist formerly known as Claudio Castagnoli: Read the rest of this entry »

Question: Will we ever see Sin Cara Negro again?

October 24, 2011

Poor unmasked Evil Sin Cara.

All he ever did was turn up, take on someone else’s character at a time of desperation, avoid botching as far as he could, speak in English as well as Spanish, and now he has been unmasked, never to be seen again.

Or…perhaps not. Read the rest of this entry »

Fact: Zack Ryder is a marketing genius

October 24, 2011

Not only has he created his own YouTube channel and promoted himself by social media, not only has he made and awarded himself the Internet championship, not only has he befriended Hugh Jackman, but Zack Ryder must now have a hand in his own merchandise.

Sure, he’s been nagging his followers to hassle the WWE Shop with requests for broski headbands for ages now, but now he has surpassed himself. Read the rest of this entry »

Question: What would Lion Kid’s WWE name be?

October 23, 2011

A conversation from this weekend’s excellent Dragon Gate UK show at Nottingham’s Albert Hall:

“You know when WWE make people change their names when they sign? Like, Bryan Danielson becomes Daniel Bryan, and Claudio Castagnoli becomes Antonio Cesaro?”


“What would they change Lion Kid’s name to, while still keeping his gimmick of a feline British masked luchador?”

Read the rest of this entry »

Fact: CM Punk’s balls are in someone’s purse

October 20, 2011

Money in the Bank is possibly the greatest thing I have ever seen on television.

I’m not ashamed to admit I was sobbing into my blanket as Punk took the title and left the building – I tweeted at the time, “Crying and marking out and shouting at the television. I’m 31 and I know this is storylined.”

That’s the power of a good PPV, good writing and, of course, the power of Punk. The match itself, though terrific, was secondary. It was the storyline that was being conveyed that was important.

Read the rest of this entry »

Question: What will the WWE do without Heath Slater?

October 19, 2011

You’ve probably heard by now that Heath Slater has been suspended by the WWE for his first violation of the company’s wellness policy.

Then who will take his place as random Smackdown jobber, and occasional Superstars luminary?

I have the perfect solution – after all, it worked so well with Sin Cara. Read the rest of this entry »