Facts from Monday Night RAW, O2 Arena, April 13th 2015

Well, if I type quickly, I might get this published before the show airs…spoilers, if so…

Fact: the world is odd, featuring CM Punk, Chris Brown, Eve, John Cena and Zack Ryder

We already know that CM Punk is a god amongst men, with progressive views on many things.

He spoke last week about male politicians attempting to restrict women’s access to birth control.

He’s gone public in supporting equal marriage rights for gays.

This week he responded to Chris Brown’s Twitter taunts by challenging him to a fight, with proceeds from the bout going to a women’s refuge.

Meanwhile, over on RAW, John Cena would doubtless argue that Rihanna deserved everything she got from her boyfriend, because sometimes women just don’t know when to shut up and let the menfolk speak, and God forbid they should do anything that men judge inappropriate.

Question: Zack Ryder, Eve and John Cena – where on earth is John Cena’s wife?

John Cena has a wife in WWE canon. I KNOW he does, because CM Punk told me so.

Now obviously offending her honour isn’t as bad as likening Cena to the New York Yankees. But she does exist.

So where is she now?

Fact: 2012 will be WWE’s year of Vince’s Angels

“Once upon a time, there were three little boys who worked in the indies.

“And they were each assigned very hazardous duties, such as working matches with Teddy Hart, and veering towards a TNA contract.

“But I took them all away from all that and now they work for me.

“My name is Vince.

“And I LOVE THE INTERNET, TWITTER, AND ALL YOU GOOFBALL SMARKS!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spot the difference: Zack Ryder and Robbie E

Not to cast aspersions on the originality of wrestling companies’ angles and characters, of course, but…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah yes, well, one has a title, and one has a petition for a title match. Apart from that, the similarity is fairly marked, wouldn’t you say?

If Ryder comes out next week with Mason Ryan in tow, we’ll know something’s up.

Fact: Zack Ryder is a marketing genius

Not only has he created his own YouTube channel and promoted himself by social media, not only has he made and awarded himself the Internet championship, not only has he befriended Hugh Jackman, but Zack Ryder must now have a hand in his own merchandise.

Sure, he’s been nagging his followers to hassle the WWE Shop with requests for broski headbands for ages now, but now he has surpassed himself.